I'm a worrier

And no, I didn't misspel warrior as worrier. Although I do consider myself a warrior too.

No, I'm a worrier, be it for social situations, getting seriously ill, or something happening to my family - especially my daughter.

It is a daily occurance, and right now for example I worry about getting cancer again. I have felt under the weather for a few days, nothing bad just a bit off, and it probably is just the change in weather from warm to cool and rainy, being a bit stressed at work, and having problems getting back into things after our vacation. Normal things that everyone deals with.

But for me, having had cancer twice already, feeling off is a trigger for disaster. I can't tell you how many times I have said a tearful goodbye to my family, lying on my death bed, skinny and with a bald head. All in my mind of course. Or watching my husband walk our daughter up the isle on her wedding day, from some distant place of who knows where (I don't believe in heaven, so perhaps I am reincarnated as the flower decorations?),  or my daughter holding her first born, my grandchild, and me not being there with her. Heart wrenching, right? Just writing about it now makes me tear up.

I have just downloaded a book on Audible, called "The Worry Trick" by David B. Carbonell PhD. I am only a few chapters in, but so far so good. If nothing else, I know I'm not alone! Worrying is normal, and it doesn't have to be debilitating. So I take a lot of deep breaths, I stop myself when my head starts spinning in the wrong direction, and I try to find a more positive alternative to what worries me.

I am practicing every day, almost all the time. I will get great at handling my worries very soon!